


About Touch

by writteninweakness



Series: Things Lost in the Fire Detective AU [3]
Category: Amnesia (Game & Anime)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Requested fic, set in the detective au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 09:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18258905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writteninweakness/pseuds/writteninweakness
Summary: She's noticed Kent's hesitation to touch her, and she wants to know why.





	About Touch

**Author's Note:**

> Sofihatter545 and I were talking a bit about the issues Kent has with touch and the CG that I posted with this fic when I put it on [tumblr.](https://writteninweakness.tumblr.com/post/183714593490/once-again-by-picture-but-not-fluffy)
> 
> This universe came to mind for that, and at this point it's very close to the end of the first story and they're still a bit hesitant with each other, but at least these two learned to talk to each other, right?

* * *

“Kent?”

He tensed. He’d thought that Kokoa had fallen asleep hours ago, and he hadn’t wanted to wake her when he inevitably had to rise because it was pointless to be in bed with insomnia. He would much rather be doing something, and if he continued to lie here, all he would do was relive moments that he did not want to see again. He wanted to say they were best forgotten, but after what that had cost, he could not. He hadn’t even been at peace when he forgot. He just forgot.

“You are awake, aren’t you?” she said, sounding a bit hurt. He was almost afraid to look at her. “You know if it’s a problem, me being here, you can just tell me.”

“What?”

She sat up, leaning over his side. “I’ve been wanting to ask but a bit afraid to all the same time… It’s just… I don’t get the sense you want to touch me.”

He frowned. She had that backward, didn’t she? He had been the one to express concerns over it, since she had a tendency to rub his back when he was working or distracted or coming down from a panic attack, and he didn’t understand how she wasn’t bothered by the extensive scarring.

She reached for his hair and stopped herself. “Orion and I have been living here for a few months now. You’ve gone back to work, though I don’t think what you do qualifies as consulting like you think it does. And… we’re dating. Sort of. We haven’t really done much outside of the house. We spend a lot of time in the same rooms doing separate things, but I don’t mind that as the quiet times with you are nice. It’s just… I sleep right next to you, and I swear you don’t even want to hold my hand.”

“That is not true.”

“You’ve only ever kissed me on the forehead, and I can count the times you did that on one hand. A couple times you brushed back my hair, but you pulled away awful fast and… it seems like if we do touch, I always have to start it, and you don’t seem to like it at all.”

He grimaced. “There is a difference between disliking something and being… uncomfortable with it. I… I am not used to physical contact in many ways. My parents… were not demonstrative in that way, so aside from a few things from Ikkyu and the other members of the team… I have not known much touch, period. I suppose in saying that it seems like I did not ever date prior to you, which is inaccurate, but when I was younger… I was Ikkyu’s tutor, and a great many of the women who professed interest in me were not interested in me at all, only my connection to him.”

She winced. “That’s so wrong. Not only do those women not have any idea what they were throwing away because you’re wonderful as a person, but… Kent… my heart aches for you hearing you say all of that about your relationships… I want to hold you. Can I? Or will that be uncomfortable, too? Because you tense up so often when I do hug you—”

“It is not unpleasant. I just… between the unfamiliarity and some memories that have ties to the PTSD, it can be… an adjustment.”

She sighed, wrapping her arms around him. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with me. I want this to feel good and be comforting, not painful and strange.”

He nodded. He would prefer that as well, but it was still unsettling in some ways. He was so aware of her like this, and that caused a different sort of tension that kept her actions from being relaxing.

“Are you afraid to touch me?”

He closed his eyes. “I’m not sure what’s appropriate.”

“I’ll tell you if you do something I don’t like. You know I don’t hold back when it comes to stuff like that.”

“I know. You’ve never hesitated to speak your mind before.”

“Well, not entirely. I couldn’t admit how I felt about you.”

“You were not alone in that.”

“See? That’s just another thing we have in common.”

He laughed. “That’s not something to be proud of sharing.”

He could feel her laughing as she held onto him. “I know. I just… when people say we’ve got nothing in common, that’s not true. Some of it is our less desirable qualities—our pride and stubbornness—but it’s also those simple little things that make us human. We’re both afraid of losing the other so we don’t say what we should sometimes or we don’t do things we want to. You’re worried about me disliking your touch… I’m afraid you hate mine… listen to us being idiots again.”

“Yes.” He turned and pulled her against him, letting her rest against his chest, lifting her chin so her eyes met his. “Never think I don’t want you near me. I do. I suppose I don’t want to repeat that incident where your life was in danger and there was little I could do to protect you—in that case, I’d rather you weren’t there—but overall, yes… I want you beside me. I want to hold you. I… I hesitate, and that’s not your fault. It’s a combination of many things I am still working on.”

She smiled at him. “The same goes for me. But don’t think that you can ever do that thing where you sacrifice yourself for me again. That I won’t forgive you for.”

He could not find words to respond to that, so he simply pulled her closer and once again pressed his lips to the top of her head.


End file.
